Ten Commandments

• 1. I am the POTUS, your President, who brought you out of the economic downturn, out of poverty, and cut your taxes. You shall have no other POTUS's before Me.
  2. You shall make only flattering images of me - any likeness of me in the heavens above, on the earth beneath, or that is in the water; you shall bow down to them and serve them. For I, the POTUS, your President, is a jealous POTUS visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me, but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My secrets.
  3. You shall not take the name of the POTUS, your President in vain, for the President will not hold him guiltless who criticizes Him.
  4. Remember the golf day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do some work and only play 9 holes, but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the POTUS your President. In it you shall do no work: you, nor your son, nor your daughter, nor your male servant, nor your female servant, nor your cattle, nor your stranger who is within your gates as long as you're a white Republican. For in six days the POTUS saved the economy and slapped down tariffs and pardoned criminals and tweeted hundreds of times and played 9 besides. Therefore the POTUS blessed the Sabbath day and reserved it for 18 or more.
  5. Honor your father and your mother, if they voted for the Postus your President.
  6. You shall not murder white Republicans. Young African American males are fair game. Everyone else is in between.
  7. You shall not commit adultery. That's reserved for the POTUS. 
  8. You shall not steal if you can use legislation, executive order, or lobbyists to get what you want.
  9. You shall bear false witness against anyone who gets in the way of the POTUS your President.
  10. You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, and his male servant, and his female servant, and his ox, and his donkey, and everything that is your neighbor’s because it all belongs to the POTUS your President.
  11. Do not confuse the POTUS your President with facts or elite intellectualism. Facts are for people who cannot create their own reality through twitter and Fox news.
  12. You shall not criticize the POTUS your President for bullying, mocking or otherwise abusing POW's, the disabled, or anyone else and for willfully soliciting the support of other like-minded groups such as the KKK and the Alt-White. There are some good people in those groups.
  13. Thou shalt not exercise free speech or the right to protest. This is what the enemies of the POTUS your President do.
  14. The POTUS your President does not need to negotiate or pander to the allies of the US. They already hate us anyway.
  15. The POTUS your President does not believe in climate change. The earth is here to be exploited for massive profits by big business.